im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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