I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
