My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize