God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
