She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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