i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
