bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
