I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize