nut hugger
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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