No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
