Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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