If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
