she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
