I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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