i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
