puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
