so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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