I'm eating all of the evidence.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
