i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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