what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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