If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
