Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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