Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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