just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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