I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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