where am i from again
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If I die, sorry about rent.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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