You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
