Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
