So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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