my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
