My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i think i just lost a toe
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
