i would punch a child for taco bell
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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