i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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