You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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