I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
