First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
