Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
