Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
