Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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