Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm bleeding and have questions
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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