Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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