Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
