I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
