but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
