Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
