I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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