It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
