I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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