just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
