idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
