Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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