dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
