And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
