yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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