the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
