thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
