Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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