:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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