I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
